3 small things we can say to make more of an impact

1. Say “No” to more things that aren’t on your priority list. If it’s not part of your purpose, don’t do it. Focus is everything. When we thrash when faced with the option of saying Yes or No, it means we don’t have priorities. Good things happen when we say No to more meetings, let non-critical emails lapse, and politely decline or quietly ignore the requests for our time — if those commitments aren’t part of our journey.

Say “No” more.

2. Say what you’re thinking but no one seems to be saying out loud. Community tends to form and emotional outpourings point your way when you speak the truth. If something seems broken or backwards, or another path feels better, say as much. Just because nobody is saying it out loud doesn’t mean nobody is thinking it. Find the true believers by putting language to hard truths — even if they feel obvious. It’s not that they aren’t worth saying. It’s that the community is waiting for someone to raise their hand and say, “Are you seeing this? There’s a better way. Let’s go, together.”

Speak the unspoken more.

3. Say “I think” and not “I feel,” unless you’re describing your own feelings. (I learned this from Shane Snow, who explores intellectual humility.) When we as leaders frame our ideas as thoughts, not feelings, we allow others to contribute, to constructively critique, and to commune with us. Nobody can refute how you feel. It’s how you feel. But people should indeed poke and prod and seek to improve how you think. You are not your thoughts and ideas. Like a scientist, you have a hypothesis and your aim is to find truth, not validation. The goal is to involve others to find the answer — not proudly announce you already have it, new ideas or unseen biases be damned.

Say “I think” instead of “I feel” more.

Three little things we can say. Three ways to have a real impact on our work and the world around us.

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