2 Questions to Get Out of Your Head and into the World as a Stronger Communicator and Leader
They say hindsight is 20/20. What they don’t say is, once you have that clarity of sight, you'll want to close your eyes.
Maybe rub your temples.
Possibly let your head drop to the table with a satisfying and much-deserved thunk.
This was me, all year long.
After years of successfully building my business as a keynote speaker, after the pandemic ripped that away from me in an instant, and after deciding I didn't want such a travel-heavy life anyway, I shifted into selling services.
Services about everything but the thing I was most successful at doing: speaking.
This year, I'll have my best year of business since before the pandemic, and it's all because I finally realized, oh wait, maybe I should teach the thing which is my very best and favorite and strongest and most desirable skill. Shocking, I know. In hindsight, I should have just started there and avoided four straight years of lurching around and stressing out.
Thunk.
Imagine something for me.
Imagine loving what you do for years and years—like truly, deeply loving it. It's more than a job. It's a calling. It's more than enjoyable. It causes you to outright cackle from the feeling, then quickly hush yourself because, surely, someone will find out you're getting away with doing THAT for a living.
Imagine all your peers praising you for how good you are at that thing (and so young, wow!) and all your business flowing through that thing. Imagine literally thousands of people applauding you, followed by hundreds lining up to speak to you.
Imagine being at the tippity-top of your field in your niche, adoring it all so much, from the craft and creative parts to the business parts to the relationships and beyond.
Imagine allllll of that for yourself. Now imagine deciding you're going to start selling services, and you ... don't talk about that thing at all.
Now imagine:
Thunk. THUNK. THUNK!
I resisted because—well, I don’t know why. Fear? Doubt? Not wanting to go from player to player-coach? One thing is for certain: I looked at and tried all kinds of things tangential or secondary to speaking as the “thing” I offered clients. I couldn’t step outside myself to see me and see my abilities the way others do.
Don't make the same mistake. Don't miss the forest because you are so stressed out, frenetic, reactive, and busy as you bump into every darn branch on every darn tree, as I did. Don’t try to get so clever as to try and offer anything other than what you’re great at doing—and you are great at doing something. It’s just hard to see it.
So let’s try to see more clearly.
Here are two questions (and a quote) that helped me figure out a whole heck of a lot of things this year and, as a result, have my very best and favorite and strongest and desirable year in a very long time. The questions I've lovingly crafted for you, but the quote comes from the master.
QUESTION 1: If you were in a room of 100 professionals or peers, what are you most confident you could do better than any of them?
This transformed me and my business. This isn't about being "the best" (whatever that means anyway). This is about the statistical likelihood that, given a random sampling of 100 working professionals in the business world or even your own field, YOU would be the pick. YOU would be the one to do that thing better than the rest. And if you did it, YOU would be their favorite.
What's the likelihood that, in this room of 100, you’d be THE pick to do that thing? Maybe the thing is logo design or making educational content fun. Maybe it’s distilling complexity into systems or building teams. Maybe it’s seeing something others don’t or doing something others won’t. But it’s SOMETHING, of that I’m sure. Are you?
Do me a favor and strut a moment. Feeeeeel yourself. When it comes to this thing, you’re one badass mofo.
“Hold up," you say, glancing around the room. "Did y'all just say we’re supposed to do THAT in this room? Pssht. I got this. Step aside.”
Glance around the room. Wink at the group. Watch this.
If you were in a room of 100 professionals or peers, what are you most confident you could do better than any of them?
QUESTION 2: What is something the most impressive people in your network seem most impressed by, coming from you?
We often obsess over big numbers in the working world. If a TON of people know or like us or a project or if we see a HUGE number in response to our work, then damn, we're good. We're successful. We did the thing.
But instead of getting starry-eyed over big numbers, think of the true stars of your network. Think about the folks you already know, to whatever degree, who are the most accomplished in their field or most skeptical about most things or most experienced in what they do or most impressive to you for any reason. When they say nice things about you, what are they usually talking about? What makes their eyes open, just to see you do it or hear you explain it? When do they ask you for advice? What do they say about you to others?
What is something the most impressive people in your network seem most impressed by, coming from you?
You already know how I'd answer both questions: public speaking. Although I resisted embracing this for too many years (I've got the scars to prove it and now also the bumps on my forehead from giving myself many a-thunking. How couldn't I see it? Because most of us can't see it. Because most of us are too close to it … until it’s too late.)
If placed in a room of 100 random professionals or peers, I am most confident that I understand public speaking better than anyone there. I could give a talk better than the other 99, and I could explain what makes an effective talk better than them too. I could detail why an intro was weak or argument for a change in thinking was strong. I could peer into a story, a signature bit, a visual framework, a moment or message or metaphor, and I could point out tiny things they didn't see which made the work work.
No, I am not the best speaker in the world. But I’m often the best speaker IN THE ROOM. That’s worth building a business on, creating content around, and sharing stories about. The statistical likelihood is that, if we got 100 folks in a room, I'd be the best speaker there.
Likewise, the most impressive people in my network are most impressed by my speaking chops, whether because they saw me speak (a veteran CMO jokingly asked me to give his talk after seeing me earlier this week) or I'm coaching them (more than one of my last few clients got standing ovations or applause breaks, and you can watch some of the good vibes in this public coaching call of mine). My fanciest of fancy friends, the ones I used to consider distant avatars on the internet, I met and earned their trust through speaking.
The people I most admire have something they most admire about my abilities, and for literal years, I just ignored it. (Thunk.) I just convinced myself that I should talk about or sell services around something broader or more widely discussed, something that sounds more profound or clever—anything but the thing I SHOULD be doing. (Thunk.) I was the villain of my story, when I thought I was being heroic.
Mighty Thor, God of Thunker.
Hindsight is 20/20, it's true, but maybe we should have a way to see ourselves more clearly in the present.
Ask yourself:
If you were in a room of 100 professionals or peers, what are you most confident you could do better than any of them?
What is something the most impressive people in your network seem most impressed by, coming from you?
It took four years and many painful moments of me transitioning from being a speaker, earning on the road, to finally at long last embracing that I should help others know and do what I know and do (and love!) better than the rest. Now I teach it (bootcamps) and advise and exec. produce clients and teams (details at jayacunzo.com). In 2025, I have aspirations to partner with organizations to work with their teams and leaders, making them stronger speakers and storytellers (let me know if that’s your org), as well as partner with events to help the speakers they book craft better talks.
I can see it again, but that clarity isn't purely in reverse. I'm looking ahead. I can see clearly, and those two questions helped.
Ask them yourself, and as you answer, please remember the following quote from the master. Because we aren’t just pursuing our passion. We’re selling our skills. Which of yours makes you a master too?
"It’s not always a good idea to follow your passion. If you’re passionate about something you will never be good at, at some point you’re gonna have to recognize that. But if you feel in your heart, if you know, if you have reason to believe that you can be awesome at something? That you can be better at something than everybody else? That you can do something unique that will shock and astound and terrify people and bewitch them?
Do that.”
— Anthony Bourdain