How to Fix Your Message Fast: Try the Dialogue Outline
There are many strange, wonderful things that make me proud about the body of creative work I’ve built:
As a kid, I starred in a cooking show pilot. I even posed for promotional photos next to salt and pepper shakers the size of a small child.
I won a national award for sports journalism in college. That led to an internship at ESPN and several print papers.
I've written a blog on the internet at least once per week since 2005.
I was the youngest-ever speaker to open the world's biggest content marketing event to 4,000 people (until my friend Melanie Deziel beat me by a few years later—which I freaking loved seeing).
The American City Business Journals once named me to Boston's list of "50 On Fire" for my work as a podcaster and public voice.
I have one of the smaller audiences in total size of "people like me" (7k email subscribers; 500 downloads per podcast episode per month; 20k followers on LinkedIn and nowhere else above 3k), but the only thing my reach ends up hurting is my ego, not my business. (Revenue-per-subscriber is something I much prefer to boast about, not total subscribers, and I have a relationship marketing business, not a traffic marketing business. More traffic through the system does not actually yield more revenue for me. I love that. I am not dependent on social media or algorithms whatsoever to grow, and it feels really good. Again, “strange but wonderful.”)
But of all of the things that feel strange but wonderful about my body of work, the thing that excites me and benefits me the most sounds silly but proves powerful: I’m reeeally good at having pretend conversations with my audience.
In fact, I use a framework for it:
The dialogue outline.
This is a series of prompts, framed like a dialogue with your audience, which you can use to rapidly assess and fix your message, develop speeches, find and build your platform's premise (or the premise of a specific project), and generally improve your ability to show up in the world and inspire action in others.
The dialogue outline.
Today, I wanted to share this framework with you. I use it with my coaching clients and brands I consult. I also teach it in my public speaking accelerator. It's a transformative way to think about your ideas and message, and once I get my booty in-gear to write the next book, I know it will feature heavily.
To end this piece, I will share with you my dialogue outline for my current message.
For now, credit where it's due: the first person to prompt me and tell me developing a speech was like having a dialogue with the audience was the one and only Mr. Andrew M. Davis, author and speaker and teacher of the paid speaking craft. He was the one who first said to me, "Imagine you're having a dialogue with others in the audience. You need to anticipate what they are thinking, then deliver on it, every beat of a speech."
The result is a carefully crafted and much more compelling narrative argument. You want people to buy into your ideas and your overall message, of course. To secure that kind of "big" buy-in, you need lots and lots of smaller moments of agreement stacked one after another.
But telling you to create an "argument" can be a slippery slope. It's much more friendly, fun, and I think effective to imagine a dialogue instead.
Since working with Drew years ago, I've come to realize that whenever I develop anything, "thinking in speeches" is really powerful. It forces you to think about things like:
creating a before and after moment for others
delivering a dense dose of your IP
crafting a lawyerly, logical case for your ideas first
fleshing it out later into a creative execution only you could deliver
Your narrative argument (or dialogue) is one of the most important important tools in the back pocket of any leader. Because as a leader, you give others what you know they need, even before they want it. As a storyteller, you show them why they would.
Without further ado...
The Dialogue Outline
Imagine giving a keynote to your target audience. As you walk up on stage, they’re immediately wondering:
1. "How is this going to help me?"
You need to respond by addressing what they want.
They have a goal, a need, a set of beliefs, and a sense of identity. You're this type of person and you want THIS, right? Right.
Don't judge whether what they want or believe is good or bad. Just articulate it. You need alignment first.
Then they wonder:
2. "Aren't I already trying to achieve that goal?"
Yes, of course they are. They're in-progress towards something.
"Yes," you respond in the dialogue, "Your current approach is..."
When I speak to business leaders and entrepreneurs, I know they're already marketing their messages, creating content, communicating with the world, trying to resonate with others and grow their own businesses. They are already trying to achieve their goals.
Again, this is not a place for judgment, even if you already know their approach is wrong. Instead, #1 and #2 in the dialogue are meant purely to align closely with them. Once you’ve earned that trust and they feel aligned with you, it’s like you're standing shoulder to shoulder, ready to journey forward together. Next, you move them forward in a direction YOU envision being better, not by sharing your idea or your big change yet, but by creating a NEED for that change.
“How is this going to help me?” I’ll help you achieve your goals.
“Aren’t I already trying to achieve them?” Yes, this is what you’re doing…
Next, they think:
3. "So why not keep doing it that way?"
Well, we've got some problems with the current approach (which you point out).
In doing so, you get one of two reactions—either of which are helpful when your goal is to earn trust, spark action, or merely get their permission to keep talking:
One reaction is their eyes grow wide, like you've lifted a veil shrouding their view from seeing the error of their ways. “Oh no! How I could NOT see that before?”
Another is they throw up their hands or maybe nudge a friend next to them: "THANK YOU! That's what I've been SAY-YIN!"
Either way, they feel gratitude. They trust you even more. They start leaning in. You've opened up this need for a change. Now and only now do they actually want to hear about your ideas, perspectives, and methods.
4. "So what can I do instead?"
Here, assert your premise. Deliver some kind of reframe. You’re talking about a topic that isn’t unique to you, but how do YOU see that topic? How should THEY think about it? What is YOUR vision?
In other words, what's your premise?
You can deliver that as a simple but profound reframe. As an expert, you don’t just know a bunch of steps they should take. You know how to THINK about this stuff. Influence how they think first, then later, you can influence how they act.
Again, this can be delivered in a simple reframe, a line or two to shift their perspective and get on the same page.
Here are some of my favorite reframes:
Make calm your new KPI (Susan Boles)
Different is better than better (Sally Hogshead)
Affinity matters more than awareness. (Chris Savage)
If you're in marketing, you're a writer. (Ann Handley)
You can't grab attention. You must earn it. (Steve Pratt)
People don't buy what you do. They buy why you do it. (Simon Sinek)
You don't need a strategy. You need a sequence (Michelle Warner)
Great stories happen to those who can tell them. (Ira Glass)
Understanding innovation is like understanding poetry. (Tucker Bryant)
To be more creative, add constraints, don't fight them. (Andrew Davis)
Stop asking customers to buy something. Start asking them to BE something. (Veronica Romney)
You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. (James Clear)
Today's most timely leaders learn from the most timeless lessons in history (Scott Monty)
The best way to handle imposter syndrome is to embrace we are all imposters. (Seth Godin)
I can place any of these people inside a big, broad category: marketing, innovation, business success and growth, and so on. They could be construed as commodities. In fact, WHAT they know and WHAT they sell have both been commodified. But HOW they teach you? HOW they deliver their offerings to you? That is where they and we can differentiate. I've said it a million times, and I will say it a billion more: what you know might matter, but what you say and how you say will determine how much they care.
Crucially, effective premises are defensible. Saying you want others to thrive, or make them the best at something, or help make things simpler? That’s not defensible. It’s not really a proprietary idea. Others would claim they want the same thing. How do you see the path towards thriving, being the best, or simpler times? What is the change? “Thrive!” is not a change you can ask of someone. “Be the best” is not. “Make it simpler, not complex” also isn’t the right statement to make next.
As a knowledgeable voice or practitioner in your space, don't just teach us. Change us. Give us a change that feels desirable, exciting, motivational. Don't just share a bunch of how-tos. Teach us how to think about your topic. Give us a reframe.
If you can do that, the audience will respond with the next question as they lean even further forward, continuing the journey with you:
5. "What does this look like?"
Here, you respond with a story. In a speech, you can get started crafting a stronger story by retracing the beats of the dialogue outline so far:
Meet Sam.
Sam wanted (same goal as the audience)
Sam did (same approach as the audience)
But then Sam experienced (same problems as the audience)
Then Sam arrived at a turning point, forced to make a decision.
Sam realized (the change you're asking of the audience)
And here's what's happened since...
...and what we can learn from Sam.
And now and ONLY now do they ask the final question in their minds:
6. "How can I do this too?"
Finally, you can respond with the advice and methodologies that probably feel most familiar to you—and you probably wanted to share the entire time you hit the beats above. Because you were ready. YOU already care about their ideas. But they don’t. Not the same way. You need to lead them there.
My guess is you leap to #6 too much, too soon. What you may need is a stronger argument.
Imagine the argument like a dialogue with the audience, and just feel the difference in your message:
You have this goal
And you try to achieve it like this.
But you encounter these problems.
So think of it like this instead.
It might look like this when you do it.
And here's how you can.
But isntead, what do we mostly say to the world?
"And here's how you can."
Meh.
It is easier to spark action in others not by demanding them to change but by showing them why they should. To ensure they care about you, first ensure they care about your ideas. To make them care, make the case.
Of course, this dialogue is the skeletal structure. It's merely the argument. You will then flesh it out into lots of things, speeches or otherwise.
Our messages are meant to matter. Yes, they must be clear, but they must also create connection.
Something THIS important to our success deserves way more attention from each of us than we typically give it. That's why I rely so heavily on the dialogue outline to sharpen my ideas.
As promised, below is mine. This week, consider writing yours. Sure, it's a great outline for a speech, but it's also a powerful way to fix your message and ensure you resonate.
The Dialogue I'm Having with the World
Here is my core narrative argument. This is what I'm really saying, sometimes directly and sometimes implicitly, everywhere I go:
1. "How is this going to help me?"
You want to get picked.
You want others to pick you, stick with you, and refer you … against the odds.
Maybe growth is plateauing, marketing and sales are feeling hard or taking too long to work, and you're looking side to side and seeing more competition and more noise than ever before. You see some people getting passionate responses to their ideas and messages, but while you wish others would shout, "YES! THIS! YOU!" in your direction, you're not getting that response—at least, not consistently enough to grow your business.
Yes, you want to get picked. But it would be extra good if you could get picked without needing to chase business constantly. Instead, what if you were highly sought?
2. "Aren't I trying to achieve that already?"
To get picked in a way that feels sustainable (you're not chasing; you're highly sought), you're creating tons of content, updating your messaging, showing up as a thought leader and public educator of your audience. Everywhere, you’re sharing your expertise, competing against others in your domain.
To separate from them, you’re doing everything and anything in your power to convey to your buyers they should pick you instead of others. You're not just another option in a big list of sameness. You're THE pick. The objective right choice.
The best.
3. "So why not keep doing it that way?"
Because people don’t care if you’re “the best.” That’s not actually how they make choices. About anything! If I asked you to tell me the best Disney film of all-time, I swear, you'd be wrong. Oh, you would tell ME I'm wrong because of MY pick (A Goofy Movie), but we'd have a good debate. Why? Because there IS no objective answer, no academically reviewed and rated top pick. That's true of everything others pick. Because while I asked you to tell me the "best" Disney film, how did you hear it? How did you respond to it?
"This is my favorite." THAT is how people pick things.
When your audience makes choices, they play favorites. Are you one of them?
Don't be the best. Be their favorite.
The problem is, most of how we show up in the world actively undermines that objective. We keep sharing more and more expertise, projecting to others our competency and fluency in our domain, but this has been commodified. Generalized expertise is a commodity today. Expertise is foundational but found everywhere. Can you differentiate?
Add to the mess AI slop and more and more pretenders claiming to have expertise, and you're left shouting into a storm.
What if you could whisper?
While others scramble to reach their audience 10 times a week, what could you say that they think about 10 times a day? Because this work isn't about reach. It's about resonance. Reach is how many see it. Resonance is how much they care. If they don't care, they don't act. That means, from resonance comes results.
Can you resonate deeper?
Can you matter more? If you mattered more, you'd need to market less.
What if you could stop competing on the volume of your marketing, and learn to compete on the impact of your ideas?
The impact of your ideas is proportional to their value and their originality:
4. "What could I do instead?"
We have to escape the commodity cage, not by sprinting harder on the hamster wheel, but by producing higher-impact work. We have to think resonance over reach.
Stop creating "content." Start creating IP.
Your IP is your big idea and all the thinking around it which empowers you to explore, distribute, own, and monetize your expertise.
This isn't about creating more content more efficiently. This is also not about waiting 10 more years until you get more experience. This is about learning to package and communicate your expertise to differentiate and resonate. You're smart enough. You're expert enough. But your IP isn't strong enough—yet.
There are 5 categories of IP you can create:
The foundation is your premise, the defensible assertion you make about your space, pulled from your perspective, which informs your choices and your reputation. It's the lens through which you see everything. It's your perspective made memorable. It's the BIG idea you own.
5. "What does this look like?"
[For the purposes of this essay, I won't share a signature story, but this is where I would.]
6. "How can I do this too?"
[If this were a speech, I'd use my remaining runtime to teach you premise development. If this were something longer, like the next book, I would share an entire methodology, the end-to-end marketing system I've created, meant to help you package and communicate your expertise to differentiate and resonate. I'm calling it the Matter More Method, and everything you've read from me the last two years has been publicly validating it enough to cement the idea into a book.]
[But these asides are no way to end a piece. Let's cook this turkey...]
We all want others to pick us, stick with us, and refer us against the odds. Stop trying to "be the best." In our work, that doesn't even exist, and it wouldn't matter if it did. That's not how people pick things.
You need to escape the commodity cage. Produce work that is more valuable to others, because you bring a deeper insight. Create things more original to you, because you press them through your personal perspective, style, and stories.
No more hamster wheel feeling. Stop creating "content" and create IP. Package and communicate your expertise to actually, finally ensure they care.
What is your premise, that big idea you seek to own? You can't "own your audience," but you can own an idea in their minds. Your premise should inform everything you do—and strengthen it.
Today's most trusted voices have a premise. In doing so, they build entire Platforms of Impact around their premise, as they explore, distribute, own, and monetize their expertise in a powerful, refreshing way. They compete on the impact of their thinking, NOT the volume of their marketing. They don't need to shout. They could practically whisper, their ideas matter that much.
Don't market more. Matter more. When you matter more, you need to hustle for attention less.
Think resonance over reach.
Don't be the best. Be their favorite.