As a modern content marketer, it's important to understand each and every channel available today in order to game and cheat that system to death.

(Also, don't forget to then abuse the crap out of a channel once you've successfully gamed it. It'll stop working for you eventually, but until then, WHEEEEEEE!!!!)

Today, we're talking about Twitter, the latest new fad of 2015. Should you use it for your marketing? Who knows! A keyword tool told me I should write this post.

Anywho, if you're like me and you firmly believe your audience is psyched to tweet with an anthropomorphic corporate logo, then today's your lucky day! I've created an exhaustive guide to buying Twitter followers (because, seriously, at 1,200, you're just embarrassing yourself).

Note that this guide contains everything you need to know about how to buy Twitter followers.

You'll learn such valuable lessons as...

Should I buy Twitter followers?

. . .

You might be asking where I learned such critical information. The truth is, I stole--I MEAN CURATED IT! Yep, I curated it. Curation is a thing we're supposed to do. I believe Mark Twain once said that.

Now because this is my first guide, I've decided NOT to put it behind a lead-gen form. So rather than have you complete a 20-field form followed by two to three weeks of my sales team showing up at your house, I'm simply asking this: If you do read my guide, please immediately send me an email containing your updated state of brand affinity. I need to tell my CMO.

Now then, without further ado, here is the Ultimate Guide to Buying Twitter Followers!

And remember: This is quite literally everything you need to know about this topic.