Better than “How can I help?”

I’ve been the beneficiary of a ton of people’s help: mentors, friends, bosses (even those who clashed with me — they helped me see I wasn’t meant for the corporate world).

Last week, I thought about how I could return the favor to a few folks. “How can I help?” I would ask. But then I thought about when people ask me that question.

“Oh, jeez, um, let’s see…”

It’s hard to answer when you’re stretched thin and balancing priorities. To be asked to focus your brain to answer that question is like asking a train to get started from zero. If feels like such a big effort and such a slow chug until you can say, “Ah ha! THIS. This is how you can help.”

So rather than ask, “How can I help?” I’ve started to ask, “What’s your main priority right now?”

That’s easy for most driven people to answer. And when they do, you’re able to then think about ways you might help.

The next time you want to help others who help you, don’t ask how or if you can help. Ask what is consuming them. Ask what their top priority is, because perhaps there are ways you can assist and ease the load. If you can, offer it. If not, look for others who might and then suggest the potential of introducing the two (given both sides’ permission first of course).

Better than “how can I help?” is to ask, “What’s your top priority right now?”

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